You're viewing quotes for the episode Peter Peter Caviar Eater.
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Brian: Money money money.... money!
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Tour Guide: And here we have the lounge.
Brian: Sweet Mary Mother of God jackpot!
Bartender: What can I get you sir, we have 10 varieties of single malt scotch and a wine seller with over 10,000 bottles.
Brian: Don't make me beg.
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Peter: You gotta help me Brian teach me how to be a gentleman.
Brian: Well, Peter, it's not really that hard... let's start with polite conversation. It's a pleasure to see you again, lovely weather we're having. Now you try.
Peter: It's a pleasure to see you again. After Hogan's Hero's, Bob Crane got his skull crushed in by a friend who videotaped him having rough sex. How's that?
Brian: Wow, perfect, my work is done, but just for the heck of it let's try again.
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Doctor: I was hoping I wouldn't have to resort to shock therapy, but your progress has been... well who are we kidding you haven't made any progress. Now the left TV is tuned to Frasier. The right TV has Rickie Lake. If you so much as glace at the right TV I'm giving you 10,000 volts.
Peter: [Watches Fraiser] Huh, this is the smartest show on TV.
Rickie Lake Show: Yo Rickie that's my girl friend, she aint suppose to be havin no penis.
Peter: [Looks at Rickie Lake and is shocked.]
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Brian: Peter, when Han Solo took the Millennium Falcon to Cloud City he found Lando Calrizion and turned control of the station to Darth Vader. Lando had forgotten who he was; it was only have Han was encased in carbonate and taken by Bubba Fett to Jabba's palace that he was able to see the error of his ways. Look inside yourself; you're not a Newport millionaire. I created you. In a way, I am your father.
Peter: That's not true, that's impossible!
Brian: Peter snap out of it!
Peter: Noooo! I had the craziest dream that I bough a 100 million dollar vase.
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Lois: Brian what happened to Peter? He's not cramming hor deurves in his mouth or asking anyone to pull his finger... that's not the man I married.
Brian: So I guess technically that makes you available....
Lois: What?
Brian: Lighten up toots it's a party, hahaha. Hey barkeep it's like the damn Sahara over here, how ya doin honey?
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Lois: Peter, you're back, oh, let's go home.
Peter: We can't I sold our home, our beautiful home with the stolen cable and the little man with the penis for the light switch.
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Lois: I don't much care for Stewie's new friends.
Friend: Yes, the Pacific Rim economy is still a tad shaky for my taste.
Stewie: Oh stop it stop it, look here, you can't become a bloody fiscal hermit crab every time the knee-K undergoes a self correction. Asia's market has no where to go but up.
Friend: Interesting.
Stewie: Indeed.
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Meg: Mom, there is no way I'm sleeping in Chris's room this weekend; it smells like old milk in there!
Chris: Hey if I could find it I'd clean it up!
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Peter: Hi, uh, my name is towel I have a Peter for you... I mean my name is Peter and I'll be your nipples... TOWEL BOY! Ah jeeze.
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Peter: Ah jeeze no no no no please god kill me now no no damn damn crap damnit to hell son of a...
Lois: Peter!
Peter: Lois sometimes it's appropriate to swear.
Police Man: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?
Peter: I do... you bastard.
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Stewie: Cut my egg.
Servant: Your eggs are cut sir.
Stewie: Cut my milk!
Servant: I can't sir it's liquid.
Stewie: Imbecile! Freeze it then cut it, and if you question me again I'll put you on diaper detail, and I promise I won't make it easy for you.
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Lois: Money doesn't by happiness.
Stewie: oh I beg to differ. [Rings Bells] You, bring me the Wall Street Journal... you two, fight to the death!
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Stewie: I say, Mother, this hot dog has been on my plate for a full minute and it hasn't yet cut itself.
Lois: Honey I'll be right there.
Stewie: Oh by all means take your time, and when you do finally get around to it, I'll be the one covered in flies with a belly that protrudes half way to bloody Boston!
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