You're viewing quotes for the episode I Never Met the Dead Man.
<< Return to the quotes page
Stewie: Put me through to the pentagon!
Phone: Do you know what sound the cow makes?
Stewie: Don't toy with me Ernie I've already dispatched with Mr. Hooper, I've got 6 armed men stationed outside big birds nest. And as for Linda, well it's rather difficult for a deaf women to hear an assassin approach now isn't it?
Download - 579kb
Stewie: For God sake I'm already shooting at a 5th grade level.
Download - 47kb
Stewie: Who the hell do you think you are?
Lois: Honey it's not going to go away just because you don't like it
Stewie: Well then, my goal becomes clear.. The broccoli must die!
Download - 173kb
Lois: I'm teaching a piano lesson in half an hour... maybe your father can take you.
Peter: Ahh sorry Meg daddy loves you but daddy also loves star trek.
Download - 141kb
Lois: Why don't you spend some time with your family?
Peter: I will I'm just gonna do it during commercials.. and if that's wrong well then, then maybe I'm missing the point of having commercials
Download - 141kb
Peter: You always want to be aware with other cars on the road.. and if you ever catch eyes with the guy next to ya at a red light, you gotta race him.
Download - 110kb
Peter: Well you forgot to flick him off, but other than that nice job.
Download - 63kb
Tom: Course no one can see this news program so it doesn't really matter what we say. I'm the lord Jesus Chris.. I think I'll go get drunk and beat up some midgets.. how about you Diane?
Diane: Well Tom I just plain don't like black people.
Download - 188kb
Lois: What?
Meg: Oh it's okay.. If i take the blame he's going to buy me a convertible when I get my license.
Peter: Uh Meg it's not exactly taking the blame if you go around telling everyone.
Download - 141kb
Chris: Dad I was in a chat room on American Online and Doobie22 told me some idiot knocked out the cable.. we could be without TV for weeks!
Download - 141kb
Teacher: Well, class, we were schedules to watch a PBS program on the mating rituals of the nude large-breasted wee wok tribe of New Guinea.. unfortunately Meg Griffin ruined TV.
Download - 188kb
Brian: Lois has her knitting, Chris has his video games, Meg's learning how to drive.. and me.. I like the sauce. Hey barkeep, who's leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?
Download - 188kb
Lois: We have to find your father Chris, he's not well.
Chris: I never knew anyone who went crazy before, except my invisible friend Kernel Spotch.
Download - 173kb
Lois: And now we can see the world for what it is! A beautiful place full of wonderful things just waiting to be experienced.
Peter: Ah jeeze another chick flick.
Download - 141kb
Lois: You should spend sometime with our kids Peter, and with me.
Peter: Well what could me and you do together?
Lois: heheh..
Peter: LOIS! You've got a sick mind!
Download - 141kb
Peter: Lois, you've got a sick mind!
Lois: Peter, I'm talking about making love.
Peter: Ohh, I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.
Download - 173kb
Peter: Isn't it a gorgeous day Mr. Sun?
Sun: It's always a nice day with two scoops of raisens Peter.
Download - 110kb
Meg: Ugh, I'm so tired. This mornings fly fishing really wore me out.
Chris: Well wake up, you promised you'd get this hook out of my mouth.
Download - 110kb
Meg: Daddy, I'm sorry I ran you over and killed Mr. Shattner.
Peter: Ah don't worry honey, as soon as I get out of this body cast I'm gonna do enough livin' for me and bill.
Download - 157kb
Meg: Daddy.. now that I finally passed my drivers test can I get a convertible?
Peter: Haha no. But I'm proud of you for getting your license sweetheart.
Download - 157kb
Brian: Hey barkeep, who's leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?
Download - 81kb
Brian: Don't move.
Stewie: [Weird noises] AH!... a little help?
Download - 218kb
Chief: Alright men, this is a dangerous mission and it's likely one of us will be killed. The landing party will consist of myself, Mr. Spok, Dr. McCoy, and Ensign Rickey.
Guy: Ah crap.
Download - 274kb
TV: What would you do for a Klondike bar? Would you stand on one leg?
Guy: Sure!
TV: Would you act like a money?
Guy: Uh-huh!
TV: Would you.. kill a man?
Guy: Um, uh well... [shoots a man]
Download - 524kb
Lois: You should spend some time with our kids Peter, and with me.
Peter: Well what can you and me do together?
Lois: [Giggles]
Peter: LOIS! You've got a sick mind!
Lois: Peter, I'm talking about making love.
Peter: Oh, I thought you wanted to murder the children and harvest their organs for beer money.
Download - 407kb
Lois: Stewie, I expect you to finish off your vegetables.
Stewie: Oh rest assured you relentless...I shall finish them all off, and you as well.
Download - 268kb
Meg: Oh, my life is over, I'm the biggest loser I know.
Peter: Oh I know just how you feel pumpkin I've had my share of disappointments too.
Doctor: It's a girl!
Peter: Can you check again?
Download - 312kb
Peter: Meg don't believe what they're saying, I always keep my eyes on the road I don't miss a thing.
Announcer: We now return to Star Trek.
Peter: Holy crap! Uhura's black?
Download - 180kb
Lois: Peter, you're bribing your daughter with a car?
Peter: Come on, Lois, isn't bribe just another word for love?
Download - 164kb
Peter: Let's play a little game called taking the fall for Daddy... if you win, I'll buy you a convertible when you get your license.
Meg: Really? Oh daddy, now I love you again!
Peter: Aww, you're going to make some Jewish guy a great wife.
Download - 311kb
Stewie: Forecast for tomorrow? A few sprinkles of genius with a chance of doom!
Download - 176kb
Stewie: Stop mocking me!
Download - 33kb
Stewie: Who the hell do you think you are?
Download - 55kb
News Reporter: Those Chinese sure do like to spit, don't they?
Tom: Well Diane, that last report was so good I think you deserve a spanking!
Diane: Oh Tom I don't think your wife would appreciate that.
Tom: Diane, that frigid old cow lives in Quahog, she can't here a word I'm saying.
News Worker: Actually, we're back on the air in Quahog.
Download - 350kb
Tom: Because of an accident today at the Quahog Cable Company all television transmission will be out for an undetermined amount of time... of course no one can see this news program so it doesn't really matter what we say... I'm the Lord Jesus Christ... I think I'll go get drunk and beat up some midgets. What about you Diane?
Diane: Well Tom, I just plain don't like black people
News Worker: You guys, we're still on in Boston.
Download - 514kb
Return to Top
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
Legal Notice and Disclaimer: "The Family Guy" TM and © FOX and it's related companies. This is a fan web site, and any multimedia (pictures, videos, sound clips, etc) are owned and copyrighted by FOX.
|