Peter: hey that was good. That was even funnier than when Anus got the hamster stuck in his mouth.
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Lois to Meg: Honey, you got a little smudge
Peter: Yeah you got something on your other cheek too
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Stewie: Humm.. I say the most recent campus sporting even was most dissapointing to our side, wasn't it?
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Brian: If I remember correctly this is the physics department.
Chris: That explains all the gravity.
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Professor: Why don't you come back in, oh, 17 years?
Stewie: But but the shelf life of that sodium pendithol is only two years and.. BLAST!
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College Admission Officer: Well then let's take a look at your transcript.. Meg.. hmm.. that's not very impressive. It's just three letters.
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Mayor West: Well you can't interview a dead man, can you? *Jumps out window*
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Stewie: If I could build a device to harness the size of that device, well there's not limit to... Oh my God there's an orgy in my mouth.
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Brian: Oh my God, corruption in city hall, this is amazing!
Peter: here let me see that.. oh this'll never get Meg on the paper this is old news.
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Peter: Meg needs something thats going to pull those kids away from their rockem sockem robots, and their spyrographs, and them Moby Grape, and that 90210.
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Meg: Dad how could you do this to me? I love Luke Perry!
Peter: Jeeze Meg you're wasting your time- don't you read the papers? He's gay!
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Peter: Hey i've gotten people to believe crazier things
Peter: And if you are pure of heart indeed, you'll all go to a beautiful place called Heaven. Hahah, i'm yankin ya, you just rot in the ground.
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Brian: peter you're really gonna try and seduce Luke Perry?
Peter: Listen Brian, I'd take a bullet for me so i'm sure I can take... there he is.
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